career change

First and foremost, don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t. Sometimes you just have to dive in the deep end head first and make it happen. Secondly, put yourself in a position to take advantage of opportunities. It requires full-time efforts and making those financial sacrifices earlier in life The third piece of advice is to put as much away in retirement as possible at a younger age as it will pay back dividends in the future (likely when you realize the government won’t be able to support you). You should never have to rely on outside support. Put yourself in a position where money is never an issue if you lose your job, launch a company or whatever it is you want to do

happy new year

Therefore, everything choice you make, and action you take in 2014... compliments or comprises. impresses or disappoints. builds up or tears down. advances or retreats. turns on or turns off. adds or subtracts. nothing is neutral. Everything decision has a direction, which moves you one step closer to, or one step further from your goals.Therefore, everything choice you make, and action you take in 2014... compliments or comprises. impresses or disappoints. builds up or tears down. advances or retreats. turns on or turns off. adds or subtracts. nothing is neutral. Everything decision has a direction, which moves you one step closer to, or one step further from your goals.

media mulitask

In a recent study in the Journal of Communication, researchers show how media multitasking not only makes for poorer cognitive performance but they also suggest reasons for why -- despite increasing our stress and making us less effective at home and at work -- we still do it. The answer is that it gives us a kind of emotional gratification, like an addictive rush. Today, be on the lookout for the feeling you get when media multitasking. When you notice that feeling, see it as a choice point and ask yourself: "What's most important for me to be paying attention to right now?" Then if necessary, gently redirect.

my pledge

My Pledge for 2014 This is the year I blow the roof off I crank up my life so loud it explodes I leap with abandon as I shed my old skin I swoop and I float and I dive so low When I emerge from the depths My punch lands a blow that cracks the case open The thing I most wanted to know I can finally see The person I am, and what I’m meant to be Me The one you dismissed The one you don’t see The one you cut, like I’m butter and you’re a knife The one who’s been waiting and negotiating for my own life Everything I want is hiding in plain sight but was obscured While I waited for your decision, your permission and approval But this year that’s over, it’s all trash for removal No more crowdsourcing and agonizing about what others expect I’m here to command my reality and self-respect This year I am the master, my own muse and architect Keep your eyes on this space I am the meaning of success!

How to stay motivated even when it’s really, really hard

Allow yourself to be in the moment (dude, with all of my passions and ideas, this is an easy one to struggle with) Walk or dance daily (yes please!) Do the work that’s aligned with your heart (I use my heart as a barometer; if my heart isn’t jazzed about a project, resource, or idea, it’s not for me.) Balance work and play (I LOVE to work. Being a coach is my passion, but there is a clear difference between working hard and effectively and just working too much.) Do something that scares you every day (I learned to do this in college. Whether it be putting myself out there with blog articles, speaking in front of big groups, or executing a new project, doing things that scare me keep me excited and keep the momentum going.) Build relationships and have “to the heart of the matter” conversations (whether it be with friends or new clients, this is the stuff that is important) View money as a means for seeing the world and for taking care of loved ones (moment of vulnerability: I have a love/hate relationship with money and so viewing it in positive ways can be hard for me, but stating it in this way, with my good intentions, can put my focus where it needs to be.) Pray and think outside of yourself (if I get too wrapped up inside of my own head, but motivation is toast. Looking outside of myself and focusing on others can help realign my goals.) Get some sun (this is physical and emotional for me. I need the Vitamin D from the sun, but I also need the good vibes it brings to me mentally. Plus, this reminds me to take breaks.) Eat for energy and health (again, food, for me, can be a stressor. If I eat with good intent, the overwhelm behind eating lessens.) Live with no regrets (this is the biggie.

Heart Focus

Heart Focus: Focus your attention on your heart area. Breathe a little deeper than normal, in for 5 or 6 seconds and out 5 or 6 seconds. You may find that placing your hand over your heart helps you maintain your focus there. Heart Breathing: Now imagine while breathing that you’re doing it through your heart. Picture yourself slowly breathing in and slowly breathing out through your heart area.

How to increase determination and maximize motivation - 1) Draw inspiration from others 2) Don't think; just act 3) Strengthen your will by exercising it 4) Think about what you really want "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man." ~ George Bernhard Shaw -5) Imagine an iron centre within you 6 Never give up!

Developing Willpower

Developing Willpower If you recognize the importance of willpower, want it for yourself, and decide to develop it, what can you do to be successful? Practice exerting willpower. Research shows that by controlling small patterns of behavior you are exercising your control and your overall willpower will improve. If you decide, for example, to drink a glass of water every morning (great for the brain and the body), or to exercise for ten minutes every morning when you get up, and do so, you will find that your willpower is stronger when you apply it to other tasks. So choose a small new activity that will improve your life and get started right now. And you will have begun your story as a self-directed person. You can build on that story right away by finding a touchstone in your past, an experience in which you exerted self-control to achieve a result that was important to you or to others? I remember working in a logging camp when I was a young man to earn the money to go to university. Both the camp and the university were hard work for a distant goal, but I completed both. What is your touchstone? Go over it in your mind and remember the effort and the feelings involved, especially the pleasure of achieving the vision you had. You can take this further by remembering a number of incidents and stringing them together as your story of self-control, yourself as a person with willpower. Apparently will power is a limited resource. We start the morning with a full tank, but use it up with every application of it we make, so choose carefully what you decide to spend your powers on. Be sure also that you maintain a full tank by eating well, getting a good night’s sleep, and staying healthy.

The Warrior of Light holds the sword in his hands. He is the one who decides what he is going to do, and what he will not do in any circumstances. There are moments when life leads him to a crisis: he is forced to divorce himself from things he has always loved. Then the Warrior reflects. He assesses whether he is fulfilling God’s will or if he is acting through egoism. If separation is really the path he must follow, he accepts it without complaining. However, if this separation is provoked by the perversity of others, then he implacable in his answer. The Warrior possesses the art of the blow and the art of forgiveness. He knows how to use both with equal sk

ten best and worst foods

ten Best Foods Green Leafy Vegetables (e.g. kale, collard greens, mustard greens, spinach, lettuce) Non Leafy Cruciferous Vegetables (e.g. broccoli, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, cabbage) Berries Beans Mushrooms Onions Seeds (e.g. flax, chia, hemp, sesame, sunflower, pumpkin) Nuts (e.g. walnuts, pistachios, pine nuts, almonds, cashews) Tomatoes Pomegranates Ten Worst Foods Sweetened Dairy Products (e.g. ice cream, low-fat ice cream, frozen yogurt) Trans Fat Containing Foods (e.g. stick margarine, shortening, fast foods, commercial baked goods) Donuts Sausage, Hot Dogs, and Luncheon Meats Smoked Meat, Barbecued Meat and Conventionally-Raised Red Meat Fried Foods including Potato Chips and French Fries Highly-salted Foods Soda Refined White Sugar Refined White Flour It is clear that unrefined plant

new year resolution

1. Win the lottery. 2013 has come and gone and once again, I am not a multi-hundred millionaire. I blame Wall Street, reality TV, the Wiggles, people who eat chocolate, and the color orange. Of course, if I had actually played, I might have accomplished this goal. 2. Sleep less, party more. This may be a draw. If chronic insomnia counts as sleep less and hanging out with your knitter friends until midnight counts as party more, then I guess I can count this as a Win. But since one was not a choice and the other never included red solo cups, body shots, or begging for aspirin the next morning, I think most people would call Fail. 3. Learn to play a musical instrument. Unless typing on your keyboard so loudly that your conference calls and office mates ask what the hell you are doing counts as a learning a Technology Percussion instrument, put this in the Fail column. 4. Cook at least one new dish a week. My kitchen cabinet space is limited. Unless I go on a china-busting spree, I do not have room for 52 new dishes. Fail. 5. Spice up my life with new and interesting…. Stop. Stop right there. Nope. Nosy. Shame on you. I bet you skipped down to this one. Moving on. 6. Don’t read the comments. DON’T READ THE COMMENTS. As my partners and office mate and mother and best friend and people in the coffee shop and the art space and the auto shop and the restaurant and the airport and the press room and probably my neighbors and my dogs can attest (sorry, y’all), I utterly and completely failed at this one. 7. Stop eating junk food. Since today’s breakfast included mini-Twix and tortilla chips, you do the math. 8. Go to the gym at least twice a week. By my math, this meant a minimum of 104 visits in a year. So while I didn’t go twice a week, every week, if you count the total number of times I went, then the number is….zero. Oops. 9. Put my clothes up as soon as they come out of the laundry. I had to get a ruling on this. Stacking folded items on the nearest unoccupied bedroom surface to be rooted through daily does not count as putting them up. Apparently putting up means out of site in a drawer or closet, not making a 5′ tall Dali-esque tower of wearables. 10. Organize my craft and fabric spaces.

"Desiderata"

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. “” Max Ehrmann, "Desiderata".[

intuition

“How do these geese know when to fly to the sun? Who tells them the seasons? How do we, humans, know when it is time to move on? How do we know when to go? As with the migrant birds, so sure- ly with us, there is a voice within, if only we would listen to it, that tells us so certainly when to go forth into the unknown.” 1. Do you ever know who is on the phone before you answer it? 2. Do you sometimes get a ‚knowing‛ sense about things before they happen? 3. Have you heard talking, or your name being called, just before you fall asleep or wake up? 4. Do you find that you know what people are going to say and can finish their sentences? 5. Have you ever had butterflies in your stomach for no reason and then heard about something happening and they subsided? 6. Are you kind of lucky? Do things have a way of working out for you in your life? 7. During sleep have you experienced being — 7. During sleep have you experienced being ‚jarred‛ or a feeling of falling and landing on the bed? 8. While in the shower or walking in nature, do answers to problems come to you? 9. Do you have dreams that give you information or solve problems? 10. Have you ever had a dream or premonition of a future event that later occurred? 11. Have you ever ‚heard‛ the answer to a problem? 12. Do you prefer to skip the directions when putting something to- gether and it always turns out fine? 13. Are you aware of a buzzing, tingling, or itchy feeling on your forehead or top of your head? 14. Are you constantly generating ideas for projects and creative pur- suits? 15. Do you prefer to take the path less traveled and do things your way rather than the conventional way? 16. Have you ever seen something in your mind’s eye, like a vision of an event, before it happened? 17. Do you get vibes about people that turn out to be true? 18. Do you have an uncanny knack for finding your way without maps or a GPS? 19. Are you aware of a certain faith and trust that you will always be okay no matter what? 20. Do you pick up on the emotions of the peoplisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D.

How can we be in more and better control of ourselves more often? I have three tips

How can we be in more and better control of ourselves more often? I have three tips: 1. Anticipate and plan for your times of low self-control. Now that you know that self-control is a limited resource and that depleting it means less for later, you can do some anticipating and planning. For example, make sure that you’re not in the chips and cookies aisle of the grocery store after a long day at work. Don’t start on your tax return after a frustrating commute. 2. Exercise your willpower muscle to get more of it. Roy Baumeister, one of the leading researchers in this field, thinks that willpower is like a muscle. Exercising a muscle in the short-term leads to its exhaustion. In the long-term, though, exercising a muscle causes it to grow. In fact, there is some good evidence that exercising your willpower, though temporarily depleting, means that it will be stronger in the long run. So, push yourself. Things to do that will deplete your willpower: Work on a tough to solve puzzle; Watch a funny movie but resist the urge to laugh; Watch a sad movie but resist the urge to cry. 3. Drink some orange juice. It turns out that glucose is one of the key ingredients that your brain needs for effective self-control. Willpower. It’s not just for breakfast anymore! I hope that you find my message enlightening and helpful. Some of you, I am sure, will be disappointed to learn that your capacity for self-control is less than infinite. You do have willpower, just not as much as you might like. But now you know how to get more!

How to Discover Your Values

How to Discover Your Values Your task for Day 1 of our 30 Days to a Better Man Project is to discover, clearly define, and write down your core values. Before we begin, let’s be clear that we’re not trying to define goals here. Goals are specific actions, like “becoming financially independent by age 30″ or “asking my girlfriend to marry me this June.” What we are looking for are values: the ideas that you esteem to be of great worth and that give structure to your life. 1. Get nice and relaxed. Go to a quiet room and sit in a big comfy chair (maybe even sit in your closet; something about small spaces helps you think), grab the fishing pole and spend an hour or two casting your line into the ol’ fishing hole, or take a walk on a nature trail or around your neighborhood. Just do whatever works for you. 2. Have the proper tools. Have a pen and paper handy so you can write down your values as they come to you. I don’t recommend using a computer to do this as it’s pretty easy to get distracted from the task at hand. Write on something you won’t accidentally throw away and that will last for many years to come. 3. Ask yourself this question: “What’s truly important to me as man?” Once you’re nice and relaxed, simply ask yourself what’s truly important to you. Think about those moments in your life when you felt completely whole and fulfilled as a man. Think about the times when you’ve been the happiest. If nothing comes to you at first, don’t worry. Just keep thinking. 4. Write down whatever comes to you. When you have a moment of insight about what’s important to you, write it down. Don’t self-censor yourself. Be completely honest during this process. No one else is going to see this, so don’t list the values that you think “should” be on your list. If it comes to you, write it. You’ll be able to go back and edit the list in the next step. For now, just do a total brain dump. Also, don’t worry about prioritizing them yet. We’ll do that later. Our goal right now is to just get down whatever comes to you. 5. If you have more than five values, eliminate some. Think hard about what you truly value in life. Put a star by the values you’re sure about. Then take the ones that you feel are important, but aren’t sure if they’re top 5 material, and put them in pairs. Think about two of those values side by side, and ask yourself which of the two is more important. Then eliminate the other. Keep pitting the survivors against each other until you’re down to 5. If some of the values you listed are just two words describing the same idea. Combine them. 6. Prioritize. Once you whittle your list to five core values, prioritize them in order from most important to least important. Ideally, your core values compliment each other, but there might be times when two or more conflict. When that happens, which value will trump? If you know this before that choice presents itself, you’ll know how to proceed. And even if your values conflict in the future, look for creative ways to combine them. For example, family might be your top priority, but so is volunteering. When you have the choice of spending time with your kids or signing up to help at a charity event, do both by bringing the kiddos along with you.

will power and commitement

That is what marks out a warrior: the knowledge that willpower and courage are not the same thing. Courage can attract fear and adulation, but willpower requires patience and commitment.” ― self regulation depends on a limited energy supply. As you use it, [your willpower] gets temporarily depleted [as your energy stores fall], but if you use [willpower] a lot, your capacity improves [because you can change how you allocate your energy]. As the day wears on, people get worse and worse and more likely to give in to temptation. If you are spending a day at the beach, there may be no effect, but the accumulating demands of the day can really deplete you. Yes, after making a lot of decisions, your self control is lower and conversely, after exerting self control, your capacity for making decisions is lower. As you make a bunch of decisions, you gradually deplete the energy you have available and subsequent decisions are more passive and tend to go with the default option. What you have to do is either save big decisions for when you are fresh— one piece of advice is don’t make big decisions on a Friday after a hard week. [Also] realize that you do deplete your energy and this changes your decision making process and realize how it changes. [There is] more avoidance, more taking the easy way out, more sticking with the default and status quo. All of those increase when people’s willpower is

down. Studies now show that self-control is a limited resource that may be strengthened by the foods we eat. Laughter and conjuring up powerful memories may also help boost a person’s self-control. And, some research suggests, we can improve self-control through practice, testing ourselves on small tasks in order to strengthen our willpower for bigger challenges. “Learning self-control produces a wide range of positive outcomes,’’ said Roy Baumeister, a psychology professor at Florida State University who wrote about the issue in this month’s Current Directions in Psychological Science. “Kids do better in school, people do better at work. Look at just about any major category of problem that people are suffering from and odds are pretty good that self-control is implicated in some way.’’ Last month, Dr. Baumeister reported on laboratory studies that showed a relationship between self-control and blood glucose levels. In one study, participants watched a video, but some were asked to suppress smiles and other facial reactions. After the film, blood glucose levels had dropped among those who had exerted self-control to stifle their reactions, but stayed the same among the film watchers who were free to react, according to the report in Personality and Social Psychology Review. The video watchers were later given a concentration test in which they were asked to identify the color in which words were displayed. The word “red,” for instance, might appear in blue ink. The video watchers who had stifled their responses did the worst on the test, suggesting that their self-control had already been depleted by the film challenge. But the researchers also found that restoring glucose levels appears to replenish self-control. Study subjects who drank sugar-sweetened lemonade, which raises glucose levels quickly, performed better on self-control tests than those who drank artificially-sweetened beverages, which have no effect on glucose. The findings make sense because it’s long been known that glucose fuels many brain functions. Having a bite to eat appears to help boost a person’s willpower, and may explain why smokers trying to quit or students trying to focus on studying often turn to food to sustain themselves. Consuming sugary drinks or snacks isn’t practical advice for a dieter struggling with willpower. However, the research does help explain why dieters who eat several small meals a day appear to do better at sticking to a diet than dieters who skip meals. “You need the energy from food to have the willpower to exert self-control in order to succeed on your diet,” said Dr. Baumeister. Kathleen Vohs, professor of marketing at the University of Minnesota, says that in lab studies, self-control is boosted when people conjure up powerful memories of the things they value in life. Laughter and positive thoughts also help people perform better on self-control tasks. Dr. Vohs notes that self-control problems occur because people are caught up “in the moment’’ and are distracted from their long-term goals. “You want to look good in a bikini next summer but you’re looking at a piece of chocolate cake now,’’ said Dr. Vohs. “When we get people to think about values we m

ove them to the long-term state, and that cools off the tempting stimuli.’’ Finally, some research suggests that people struggling with self-control should start small. A few studies show that people who were instructed for two weeks to make small changes like improving their posture or brushing their teeth with their opposite hand improved their scores on laboratory tests of self-control. The data aren’t conclusive, but they do suggest that the quest for self-improvement should start small. A vow to stop swearing, to make the bed every day or to give up just one food may be a way to strengthen your self-control, giving you more willpower reserves for bigger challenges later. “Learning to bring your behavior under control even with arbitrary rules does build character in that it makes you better able to achieve the things you want to achieve later on,” said Dr. Baumeister. “Self-control is a limited resource. People make all these different New Year’s resolutions, but they are all pulling off from the same pool of your willpower. It’s better to make one resolution and stick to it than make five.”

It's always easy to blame others. You can spend your entire life blaming the world, but your successes and failures are entirely your own responsibility.” ― Paulo Coelho, Aleph “Don't be intimidated by other people's opinions. Only mediocrity is sure of itself, so take risks and do what you really want to do. Seek out people who aren't afraid of making mistakes and who, therefore, do make mistakes.” ― Paulo Coelho, Aleph 4 likes Like “If your rely only on experience, you'll simply keep applying old solutions to new problems. I know a lot of people who feel they have an identity only when they're talking about their problems. That way, they exist because their problems are linked to what they judge to be their history.” ― Paulo Coelho, Aleph

aleph

Don’t be intimidated by other people’s opinions. Only mediocrity is sure of itself, so take risks and do what you really want to do.” ― In magic - and in life - there is only the present moment, the now. You can't measure time the way you measure the distance between two points. 'Time' doesn't pass. We human beings have enormous difficulty in focusing on the present; we're always thinking about what we did, about how we could have done it better, about the consequences of our actions, and about why we didn't act as we should have. Or else we think about the future, about what we're going to do tomorrow, what precautions we should take, what dangers await us around the next corner, how to avoid what we don't want and how to get what we have always dreamed of.” ―“It’s what you do in the present that will redeem the past and thereby change the future.” ― Paulo Coelho, Aleph Paulo Coelho, AlephPaulo Coelho, Aleph “If you spend too much time trying to find out what is good or bad about someone else, you'll forget your own soul and end up exhausted and defeated by the energy you have wasted in judging others.” ― Paulo Coelho, Aleph

Here are your four steps to achieve in2014

Here are your four steps to achie2014

… 1. Define your activities. You want to post a blog post once per week? You want to post regularly on social media? You want to go to more in person events? Define what you want to achieve. 2. Define the value. Why do you want to do those things above? What will they change? Will they provide benefits to you? What are those benefits? Write them down or type them up. 3. Annoy yourself with your activities. Open your Outlook or Gmail or Whatever Calendar now. Set up a recurring meeting, once per week for each of your activities. In the description type:

f you delete this scheduled event, you are only failing yourself. Don’t give up, just get it done. You said you wanted to achieve _________. Now go and get it. 4. Don’t fail. Falling off the wagon isn’t the same as failing. Failing to do what you set out to achieve once but starting again isn’t failure. Failure is not picking back up where you left off. Do. Not. Fail.

luckyu

7 traits of lucky people: 1 optimism 2 vulnerability 3 authenticity 4 generosity 5 openness 6 humility 7 curiosity

intuiton

Typically, we will experience these as feelings or sensations to: Talk to a certain person or people Analyze certain information Visit a certain department, office or facility Attend an certain event Perform a certain analysis or experiment Collect certain information Now, I’m not referring to the normal, routine feelings that come about as a result of a planned problem-solving approach or one that conforms to a certain methodology. These feelings will encourage you to deviate from that process or plan. Since processes reduce flexibility, it’s important that we don’t become so focused that we ignore the opportunities posed by our intuition. Spontaneity and flexibility are important problem-solving attributes even if it simply means a “chance” encounter that aides us.

Eat the frog"

Eat the frog" trick: do the thing you dislike the most first. The idea is that if you do that all other things will be relatively more pleasant and that will motivate you. That is in contrast to doing easy things first and then procrastinating instead of doing the unpleasant tasks ("eating the frog" symbolizes the unpleasant task). First set priorities in your life, do not just run in your life without purpose. 3. Start your day with a morning walk in your garden and note down the activities you have to complete or start on that day. 2. Do your works having confined thoughts which are already in your mind, and tell your mind every time it wanders (notice when it wanders and make a note &, again resume your job immediately ). 3. Trace the beats and notes in your favorite music tracks (it would be interesting, as i often do it) 4. Spend time with nature (gardens, sky, water bodies and animals (pet or street )), avoid having company of too much electronics and social networking sites (mu

What exercises can I do to increase my attention span?

simple exercise: Read books (physical ones, not eBooks on computer or iPad). Get off the internet and switch off your phone, and spend an hour each day reading books without any distraction. This will teach you to be focused and attentive to what you are reading, and learn to tune off all external stimuli. In turn, this will help your general attention span. Additional benefit: You will also gradually become smarter, assuming that you didn't spend the time reading romance novels or comic books.

anxiety-driven growth" over "boredom-driven growth

Get In Over Your Head. Work To Get Your Head Above Water. And Do It Over And Over Again. In other words, choose "anxiety-driven growth" over "boredom-driven growth". To explain what I mean, I'll use Jesse Schell's elaboration on Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s flow diagram: For Csikszentmihalyi, flow is a magical zone between anxiety and boredom. The vertical axis represents the size of the challenges we are facing. The horizontal axis represents the power of our skills in relation to those challenges. When our challenges exceed our skills (in the upper left part of the diagram), we feel anxiety. When our skills exceed our challenge (in the lower right part of the diagram), we feel boredom. When our skills and challenges are closely matched (the diagonal zone from lower left to upper right), we are in a sweet spot where we feel neither too much anxiety nor too much boredom. Csikszentmihalyi calls this diagonal channel the “flow channel”. Flow is what we feel when we take on challenges that are well matched to our skills. That doesn’t mean the challenges are “easy” relative to our skills. In fact, Csikszentmihalyi says that to feel fully engaged, we must stretch ourselves a bit beyond our current comfort level – but not so much that we feel helpless or completely disoriented. The Relationship Between Flow and Growth Schell’s directed graph allows us to talk about the relationship between flow and growth. A4 is a better place to be than A1. At A4 we are working on bigger challenges than at A1, and we have more skills to meet those challenges. And notice that there are two ways to get from A1 to A4. First, you can move from A1 to A2, and then to A4. On this path, you develop new skills without much challenge. And once you start to feel competent with those new skills, and you start to get bored with the way you are using those skills, you can take on a challenge that will use those skills and get your mind back in the game. This might be the approach of a math student who keeps working on easy problem sets until he gets so good at them that he’s bored, and then decides to tackle a harder problem set. Second, you can move from A1 to A3, and then to A4. On this path you take on a challenge before you have the skills to meet the challenge. This creates anxiety, and the anxiety drives you to develop the skills you need to meet the challenge. This might be the approach of a math student who jumps right to the most difficult problem set and fills in her skills as she works on those problems. We can call the first path “boredom-driven growth” (which is actually boredom-driven challenge acceptance). And we can call the second path “anxiety-driven growth” (which is actually anxiety-driven skill acquisition.) Choose Anxiety-Driven Growth Of course there is a limit to how far out of your comfort-zone you should go. You still need to be somewhat realistic. You shouldn't bet your whole career, for instance, on completing a project that's WAY above your abilities in too little time. And there will be times in your life when you need to slow down and rest up. But, within reason, anxiety-driven growth will help you grow faster than boredom-driven growth. So avoid the temptation to master all the skills you need before taking on a challenge. Whenever you can, as long as the water's not too far over your head, just jump in, and figure it out as you go.

“Six Steps to Living in the Moment” RENÉE MBy . GRINNELL “1. To improve your performance, stop thinking about it (unselfconsciousness).” If you can’t stop thinking about what a terrible dancer you are or how boring your speech is, you’re wasting valuable energy by making yourself anxious. I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather watch an enthusiastic dancer make a few mistakes than a technically perfect dancer who seems on the verge of tears. “2. To avoid worrying about the future, focus on the present (savoring).” As Dixit puts it, “We sip coffee and think, This is not as good as what I had last week. We eat a cookie and think, I hope I don’t run out of cookies.” Where is the enjoyment there? “3. If you want a future with your significant other, inhabit the present (breathe).” Mindfulness makes people less aggressive and more aware of their feelings, as well as their interactions with other people. Focusing on the present frees one up to respond “thoughtfully rather than automatically”. “4. To make the most of time, lose track of it (flow).” Have you ever sat down, started in on a task, and become so fully absorbed in what you were doing that hours passed without your notice? Most people have attained this state, which psychologists call “flow,” at one point or another while doing something they find engaging and enjoyable. Dixit describes it as such: As your attentional focus narrows, self-consciousness evaporates. You feel as if your awareness merges with the action you’re performing. You feel a sense of personal mastery over the situation, and the activity is so intrinsically rewarding that although the task is difficult, action feels effortless. “5. If something is bothering you, move toward it rather than away from it (acceptance).” It’s human nature to avoid unpleasant situations. However, I like Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön‘s thoughts on the subject in her book When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times: “…feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we’d rather collapse and back away. They’re like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are.” “6. Know that you don’t know (engagement).” If we know everything already, if our days are routine and predictable, where is the excitement in that? Why bother being curious about anything? As Pema Chödrön so elegantly puts it in “When Things Fall Apart”: “We long to have some reliable, comfortable ground under our feet, but we’ve tried a thousand ways to hide and a thousand ways to tie up all the loose ends, and the ground just keeps moving under us.” Embrace the unexpected in the here and now of your day. It’s what sets

he young artists approached their task in two distinct ways. Some examined relatively few objects, outlined their idea swiftly, and moved quickly to draw their still life. Others took their time. They handled more objects, turned them this way and that, rearranged them several times, and needed much longer to complete the drawing. As Csikszentmihalyi saw it, the first group was trying to solve a problem: How can I produce a good drawing? The second was trying to find a problem: What good drawing can I produce? It is in fact the discovery and creation of problems rather than any superior knowledge, technical skill, or craftsmanship that often sets the creative person apart from others in his field. The best approach is for the people on the ends to emulate those in the center. As some have noted, introverts are ‘geared to inspect,’ while extraverts are ‘geared to respond.’ Selling of any sort — whether traditional sales or non-sales selling — requires a delicate balance of inspecting and responding. Ambiverts can find that balance. They know when to speak and when to shut up. Their wider repertoires allow them to achieve harmony with a broader range of people and a more varied set of circumstances. Ambiverts are the best movers because they’re the most skilled attuners.

If he cries, without hesitation, run to him…hold him…comfort him. Tell him that you are here for him and that you love. Let him know that he can shed tears in front of you and that it will, in no way, in your eyes, diminish his manliness. He needs to know that you view his expression of his emotions … his sharing with you of his deepest feelings – a sacred act. He needs to know that he can trust you enough to be vulnerable and bare his soul.”

In Why People Die by Suicide

In Why People Die by Suicide, Dr. Joiner posits a three-part explanation of suicide which focuses on ability and desire. The desire to commit suicide comes from a sense of disconnection from others and lack of belonging, combined with a belief that one is a burden on others. The ability to commit suicide comes from a gradual desensitization to violence and a decreased fear of pain, combined with technical competence in one or more suicide methods. Under this model, a combination of desire and ability will precede most serious suicide attempts.[

1] When people see themselves as effective—as providers for their families, resources for their friends, contributors to the world—they maintain the will to live. When they lose that view of themselves, when it curdles into a feeling of liability, the desire to die takes root. We need each other, but if we feel we are failing those we need, the choice is clear. We’d rather be dead. Athletes, doctors, prostitutes, and bulimics all share a heightened risk of suicide. All have a history of tamping down the instinct to scream.

Strategies for Overcoming Fear

Strategies for Overcoming Fear 1.Acknowledge the fear. Whether it's imagined or real, the first step in overcoming fear is to admit that it exists. We all have fears; it's human nature. Denying or ignoring them doesn't make them go away. 2.Analyze it. Where does it come from? Is it real or imagined? Can it be put in a different context? For instance if you think it through to its logical conclusion, what's the worst that can happen to you? Once you've determined what that might be, ask yourself if you can deal with, or overcome it. More often than not, once you go through the process of analyzing it, the fear isn't as scary as you originally imagined. 3.Face it. Allow yourself to feel it, and then do it anyway. Act in spite of your fear and treat is as a challenge for personal growth and an opportunity to become stronger. 4.Be persistent. Do the thing you fear over and over again. By doing it repeatedly it loses its power over you and you become less vulnerable to it. 5.Develop courage. Sometimes the answer may not be to conquer a particular fear; it may be to develop courage. If you focus too much on any one fear instead of trying to build courage, you may in fact, intensify it. By developing courage you build self-confidence and resilience. You also build a healthy approach towards facing all fear. As Mark Twain said: "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear." Here is list of top 9 fears according to Forbes.com: 1.Fear of bugs (especially spiders), mice, snakes, bats 2.Fear of heights 3.Fear of water (drowning) 4.Fear of public transportation 5.Fear of storms 6.Fear of closed spaces 7.Fear of tunnels and bridges 8.Fear of crowds 9.Fear of public speaking

How to Develop Your Intuition Skills

v dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">

llow your team to develop four core areas of intellectual stimulation to make them more inventive and better problem solvers.
Capture New Ideas.
Encourage everyone on your team to pay attention to and collect fresh ideas and inspiration of all kinds when they are out and about, or when reading newspapers and magazines online. Make it easy by giving them the tools to do so--which can range from the low-tech pad and pen to digital versions of the same, like Evernote, a capturing software available on iPhone, Mac, PC, mobile phones, and Firefox. It lets you capture ideas wherever you are and syncs them to your other devices. For instance, if you make a note on an iPhone, it syncs it online and on your desktop computer. It also reads and extracts text found in images. Likewise, Backpack is a type of to-do list application, with a lot of flexibility in terms of use, which makes capturing data and thoughts easy--for example a dashboard widget lets you see Backpack items on your desktop. Then give people a regular venue to swap what they’ve collected, such as a weekly powwow or digital sharing conference.
Engage in challenging tasks.
Give your team a chance to try things that stretch their perceived limits and that are completely new to them. I’m not talking about the hackneyed “trust fall”--a routine activity at management retreats. This is about seriously stimulating activities like learning a foreign language or mastering a musical instrument (or at least learning to keep time). Regularly provide people with an opportunity to ask for and complete difficult jobs--for example, have so-called “creative” work on a data analysis project and let your “analyst” help the art department come up with a new design package.
Broaden knowledge.
Innovation can come from anywhere--especially from parallel industries, and even history. Your continuing education programs should encompass as many different kinds of learning as possible. Don’t limit yourself to conventional industry-specific course work. A green energy startup might send its people to a course in aeronautical design or a class on the history of mechanization. Or do knowledge exchanges. Retailers might find it valuable to have their people learn about how nonprofit companies write grants and pitch projects, while a charity might find merchandising techniques insightful.
Interact with stimulating people and places.
Make sure you and your people get out from behind desks and experience the world. Allowing for staff members to set up shop in the local Internet café can become a laboratory of observation and fresh thinking. Sponsoring mixers with other firms in your area (whether they are related to your business or not) is a great way for people to exchange ideas and talk about what they do with those who come with different points of view. Insist that employees take their allotted vacation time--not only because we all need R&R, but because travel and time off allows us to come into contact with new environments that come back with us to the office, often in exciting ways.

mistakes

Sometimes you don’t just want to risk making mistakes; you actually want to make them — if only to give you something clear and detailed to fix Mistakes are not just opportunities for learning; they are, in an important sense, the only opportunity for learning or making something truly new. Before there can be learning, there must be learners. The chief trick to making good mistakes is not to hide them — especially not from yourself. Instead of turning away in denial when you make a mistake, you should become a connoisseur of your own mistakes, turning them over in your mind as if they were works of art, which in a way they are. … The trick is to take advantage of the particular details of the mess you’ve made, so that your next attempt will be informed by it and not just another blind stab in the dark.

goal

man who procrastinates in his CHOOSING will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance. So if you now number yourself among the disenchanted, then you have no choice but to accept things as they are, or to seriously seek something else. But beware of looking for goals: look for a way of life. Decide how you want to live and then see what you can do to make a living WITHIN that way of life. But you say, “I don’t know where to look; I don’t know what to look for.”

To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles…” And indeed, that IS the question: whether to float with the tide, or to swim for a goal. It is a choice we must all make consciously or unconsciously at one time in our lives. So few people understand this! Think of any decision you’ve ever made which had a bearing on your future: I may be wrong, but I don’t see how it could have been anything but a choice however indirect — between the two things I’ve mentioned: the floating or the swimming. Every man is the sum total of his reactions to experience. As your experiences differ and multiply, you become a different man, and hence your perspective changes. This goes on and on. Every reaction is a learning man must choose a path which will let his ABILITIES function at maximum efficiency toward the gratification of his DESIRES. In doing this, he is fulfilling a need (giving himself identity by functioning in a set pattern toward a set goal) he avoids frustrating his potential (choosing a path which puts no limit on his self-development), and he avoids the terror of seeing his goal wilt or lose its charm as he draws closer to it (rather than bending himself to meet the demands of that which he seeks, he has bent his goal to conform to his own abilities and desires). In short, he has not dedicated his life to reaching a pre-defined goal, but he has rather chosen a way of life he KNOWS he will enjoy. The goal is absolutely secondary: it is the functioning toward the goal which is important. And it seems almost ridiculous to say that a man MUST function in a pattern of his own choosing; for to let another man define your own goals is to give up one of the most meaningful aspects of life — the definitive act of will which makes a man an individual. process; every significant experience alters your perspective

beginner's luck

Every search begins with beginner's luck. And every search ends with the victor's being severely tested." The boy remembered an old proverb from his country. It said that the darkest hour of the night came just before the dawn.”
 In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's there are few.

living in the present moment

The secret is here in the present. If you pay attention to the present, you can improve upon it. And, if you improve on the present, what comes later will also be better. Forget about the future, and live each day according to the teachings, confident that God loves his children. Each day, in itself, brings with it an eternity.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

living in the present moment

The secret is here in the present. If you pay attention to the present, you can improve upon it. And, if you improve on the present, what comes later will also be better. Forget about the future, and live each day according to the teachings, confident that God loves his children. Each day, in itself, brings with it an eternity.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

personal legend

“The boy didn't know what a Personal Legend was. 'It's what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is. At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their Personal Legend.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

realise ur destiny

“It's what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their destiny is. At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their destiny... It's a force that appears to be negative, but actually shows you how to realize your destiny. It prepares your spirit and you will, because there is one great truth on this planet: whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's your mission on earth.

People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don't deserve them, or that they'll be unable to achieve them.

”If good things are coming, they will be a pleasant surprise," said the seer. "If bad things are, and you know in advance, you will suffer greatly before they even occur.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

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“Because I don't live in either my past or my future.I'm interested only in the present".”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

tags: inspirational-quotes

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“When you possess great treasures within you and try to tell others of them, seldom are you believed.”

 “The secret is here in the present. If you pay attention to the present, you can improve upon it. And, if you improve on the present, what comes later will also be better."

making a decision was only the beginning of things. When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision

“When someone sees the same people every day, as had happened with him at the seminary, they wind up becoming a part of that person's life. And then they want the person to change. If someone isn't what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

tags: expectations, life, people, philosophy

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“God only rarely reveals the future. When he does so, it is for one reason: it's a future that was written so as to be altered.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

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The Alchemist Quotes (showing 1-30 of 575)

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

tags: inspirational

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“It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”
― Paulo Coelho, Alchemist

tags: inspirational

8937 likes

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“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

tags: love

7244 likes

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“So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

tags: love

6538 likes

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“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

tags: achievement, dreams, failure, fear

6418 likes

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“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

tags: hope, inspiration, love, santiago

5901 likes

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“The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.”
― Paulo Coelho, Alchemist

tags: wisdom

4480 likes

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“The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

tags: wisdom

3404 likes

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“Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

3189 likes

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“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

tags: confidence, honesty

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“No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn't know it.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

tags: inspirational

2323 likes

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“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity.”
― Paulo Coelho, Alchemist

tags: fear, suffering

2268 likes

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“Don't give in to your fears. If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

tags: fear

1663 likes

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“This is what we call love. When you are loved, you can do anything in creation. When you are loved, there's no need at all to understand what's happening, because everything happens within you.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

tags: love

1566 likes

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“People are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of.”
― Paulo Coelho, Alchemist

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“We are travelers on a cosmic journey,stardust,swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share.This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

tags: eternity, travelers

1123 likes

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“Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”
“The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

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The Alchemist Quotes (showing 1-30 of 575)

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

tags: inspirational

10567 likes

like

“It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”
― Paulo Coelho, Alchemist

tags: inspirational

8937 likes

like

“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

tags: love

7244 likes

like

“So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

tags: love

6538 likes

like

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

tags: achievement, dreams, failure, fear

6418 likes

like

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

tags: hope, inspiration, love, santiago

5901 likes

like

“The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.”
― Paulo Coelho, Alchemist

tags: wisdom

4480 likes

like

“The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

tags: wisdom

3404 likes

like

“Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

3189 likes

like

“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

tags: confidence, honesty

2447 likes

like

“No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn't know it.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

  Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity.”
― Paulo Coelho, Alchemist

tags: fear, suffering

2268 likes

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“Don't give in to your fears. If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

we all have a “picker.” That “picker” is formed at the earliest ages. it’s calibrated by the relationship between our parents. It’s further refined by how we view the parent of the opposite sex. Unfortunately, these calibrations are made long before we have the ability to realize that the information being entered needs to be filtered, because these basic experiences are being absorbed whole without analysis or criticism.
And the one input that attracts our “picker” more than anything else is the factor called “chemistry.”
Each person’s individual chemistry calibration

chemistry has to mean something else. Attraction has to be different. Our identity, our values and beliefs have changed should my “picker” be adjusted to new settings that reflect who I am now.

y es, it may be uncomfortable at first it even may be scary and unsettling. It may have you doubting yourself and your choices. It’ll remove all your limiting beliefs and generalizations you make about the opposite sex.

 

post breakup

. The relationship has ended. You two are no longer together. You can’t kiss him anymore. You can’t hug him anymore. And you need to accept it. The first step to moving on is to accept that it’s over. You’ve got to understand that you can’t talk to him anymore. You can’t hang out with him anymore. You can’t check up on his social media accounts anymore. You’ve got to delete those old messages. Delete your pictures together. Delete his number. It’s over. Accept it. The hurt will be over soon. You can do it!

dating

If you think of dating as your way to learn about another person and about yourself without risking anything, it can be fun -- go for coffee or a walk or dinner with someone new, talk, see what you both enjoy discussing and doing. It's when you think of dating as auditioning a potential soulmate that it becomes fraught with anxiety, unpleasantness, and emotional danger Please also try to learn about me. If you do all the talking and don't ask me any questions, I don't know if it's nervousness or that you don't care who I am. As interesting as you may be, a monologue absolutely rules out a second date.

1. Be yourself, be truthful, tell me about yourself -- and I'll do the same. That doesn't mean dumping details of your last health exam or therapy session, but take the opportunity to show me who you really are and what matters to you. We're too old to play the I'll-try-to-appear-to-be-who-you-want-me-to-be game.

The two pillars of acceptance are understanding and caring.

The two pillars of acceptance are understanding and caring.

How can you bring more of these into your life, using your own thoughts and actions to cultivate self-acceptance?

 

44 Actions You Can Take Now to Boost Your Energy

 

 these are in no particular order:

1. Take Vitamins.
2. Lose weight.
3. Organize your desk.
4. Eat lean.
5. Get 7–8 hours of sleep a night.
6. Go to bed and get up at the same time every day.
7. Take naps.
8. Drink 8 glasses of water a day.
9. Use a sun lamp.
10. Exercise regularly.
11. Stop watching or reading the news.
12. Avoid negative people.
13. Surround yourself with high-energy people.
14. Walk faster.
15. Decide to be energetic.
16. Smile.
17. Learn a new joke and tell it to someone.
18. Read or watch something inspiring.
19. Avoid sugar and white carbs (potatoes, bread, etc.)
20. Reconcile with an estranged family member or friend.
21. Go to church.
22. Sing old TV theme songs with friends.
23. Listen to music that moves you.
24. Get outside.
25. Breathe more deeply.
26. Read the Bible.
27. Relax your body.
28. Cancel unproductive meetings.
29. Plan a vacation.
30. Experience art.
31. Stop complaining.
32. Be grateful.
33. Pay someone a compliment.
34. Give money to a good cause.
35. Lighten someone else’s load.
36. Travel with less stuff.
37. Clean out your closet.
38. Have dinner with a friend and be fully present.
39. Take a shower.
40. Get a massage.
41. Turn off your mobile phone.
42. Get lost in a great story.
43. Make a list of why you are doing what you are doing.
44. Dream about what is possible.

 

the 30 Secret Rules of Social Media

1. You are what you retweet.
2. Don’t DM without permission. It’s like trying to sell elephants in a porcelain store. Your goal may be achieved, but the price may be higher than you think.
3. If you tweet more than 8-9 times per day, your followers will be worried. It’s like getting out in front of your house and saying: “man what a nice weather today” 8-9 times a day. Your neighbors will be worried.
4. Don’t trust a follower with a nice woman picture as an avatar but with a nickname containing more than 4 digits. The photo is most likely a fake and you’re dealing with a nice looking spammer.
5. If you stop tweeting for 7 days in a row you should get yourself another account, your current one will be officially marked as obsolete.
6. If you see the fail whale, do continue to tweet on post-its. Don’t lose your momentum. Stick them on the walls of your office.
7. If you appear in more lists than the total number of your followers, that could be a pretty solid confirmation that you have a multiple personality disorder.
8. You know you had too much Twitter when you’re looking for the “follow” link on the business card you just received.
9. Automating your tweets is like sending clones to the social events you don’t like. Sooner or later, they will catch you.

StumbleUpon

10. Laws are changing every day in this country. Your friends are not your friends but your subscribers, which in turn may or may not be you visitors.
11. Stumbling is actually highly valued in this country. But do not fake it. Try to genuinely stumble otherwise you can be accused of inappropriate behavior in public.
12. StumbleUpon is the Hollywood of social media: it can make you famous in a single day, but you can also be forgotten in a week.
13. According to a number of experts, the SU toolbar could be the most widely used mouse click exercise on Earth. Emptying your SU bar from 100 shares in 10 seconds is considered pretty common sense. If you don’t know what a toolbar is, or what a share means in SU, then, by all means, don’t try to find out. Just stay happy.

Reddit

14. If they talk bad about you, don’t talk bad back. It’s not polite. Being talked bad in Reddit is a sign of high appreciation. Sometimes is a sign of pure rejection too.

15. Ask a question at least once per month. Don’t pick a specific topic, be as random as you can but do ask a question ever once in a while. Asking questions in Reddit is like drinking beer in Germany.
16. Starting your own subReddit is the equivalent of graduation. Everybody does it, sooner or later.
17. In Reddit, you actually accumulate karma, you don’t burn it. You’ve been warned.

Digg

18. If your link got buried, be happy. It’s the first sign you’re becoming important.
19. In Digg, who you are as a person is not even remotely as valuable as who you know. I also saw that in business. A lot.
20. Reaching the front page of Digg is equivalent in some cultures with winning the lottery. The probability, I mean.
21. If you get comments on your submissions, but no diggs, you’re doing something extremely wrong. Nobody will tell you exactly what, get used to it.
22. There’s no real difference between friends and fans: both can bury you alive.

Facebook

23. If you want to say something nice to some of your friends, think twice, there might be an app for that.
24. There will always be some causes to join at some point in your life, so don’t rush on the first one.
25. Farmville is a very crowded city in Facebook. Rumors has it that some people who entered Farmville never got back from it.
26. If someone likes your link that doesn’t mean you have to automatically invite him/her on a date.
27. You will receive crazy, totally useless, nice looking small gifts. Get used to it. It’s not spam. It’s gifts.
28. It’s compulsory to have your own fan page. If you don’t, people will assume you want to become somebody else’s fan and act accordingly.
29. Never respond to a message that says: “You have just been accepted in Mafia Wars”. Real mobsters don’t do that. They send someone over.

The Final Rule

30. If you’ve read everything on this list and agreed with at least 50% of what’s in it, you badly need a life. A real life.