be urself

How to Be Yourself: The Art of Authenticity We’ve been taught that it’s more important to be liked than to be real. And that we should learn to please people if we wanna get ahead. But how can we love our life if we’re not expressing ourselves honestly? How can we create something extraordinary if we’re not speaking (and living) our truth? We can’t. So resentment builds. Feelings of fraudulence arise. And our head and heart become outta sync. This class is about aligning your head and your heart – about courageously speaking your truth – about creating a life in alignment with who you are (not who you should be)! The Top 10 Big Ideas 1Be the Author Of Your Own Story The word “authentic” shares the same root as the word “author”. Coincidence? Nope. When we are authentic, we become the author of our own story. Authenticity = self-awareness + courage. It's about being self-aware enough to know who you are and at the same time being courageous enough to express that. 2Pump the “People Pleasing” Brakes Stop people pleasing. It’s a passive attempt to validate our self-worth. Instead, we’re gonna speak our truth -- even if you think it may cause some slight discomfort initially. Here’s the thing: The less you look for people’s approval, the more they’ll give it to you. 3What Will *I* Think of Me? Soooooooooo… Why are you afraid to do the things you REALLY wanna do? When the answer is “other people’s judgment” – that, my friend, is not authentic. When we're more concerned about what people will think of us than we are about living our own life, that's not a great situation to be in. Instead of asking: “What will they think of me if I do this”… Ask: “What will *I* think of me if I don’t do this? 4Stop “Should-ing” On Yourself You know that voice in your head? The voice that says, you SHOULD do this – you SHOULDN’T do that. Well here’s the thing: The voice isn’t really yours. It didn’t just magically manifest in your mind – it came from a combination of factors: your family, your friends, your culture, your lineage, your religion, your gender, pop-culture. And when we realize that, we start to give ourselves permission to create our life based on what we really want – not what that voice says we should do. 5Aim For Connection Instead of Validation Connection is love. (Seeking) Validation is fear. We live in a world that’s constantly telling us we’re not enough – but if we buy this product, do that thing, achieve the next milestone – THEN we’ll be validated. This social programming can keep us in a perpetual state of fear. Instead of trying to validate yourself, focus on connecting authentically from the core. 6No Faking the Funk People respect realness. If we’re going through a hard time – that’s okay. Just don’t fake the funk and pretend everything is sweet when it’s salty. Give yourself the permission to be human. It’s relatable. It’s respectable. It’s liberating. 7Don’t Be An Ass There’s a big difference between being authentic and being an ass. Being authentic means expressing your feelings, thoughts, and beliefs… honestly. Being an ass means attacking, gossiping, complaining and overall douchery. Respect the fine line between sharing your experience and shitting on someone else. 8From Harlem to Harvard It doesn’t matter if you’re speaking to your homey in Harlem or your professor in Harvard – you can still be authentic. Yes, you may amplify certain parts of your personality in different instances, but you are still your core self. Your values and boundaries don’t change. So be you and keep it real regardless. 9 If You Really Knew Me Mike Robbins gave a great TED talk on the Power of Authenticity. In it, he tells a story which outlines my favorite authenticity tool: 7 simple words: *If you really knew me, you’d know*. Next time you find yourself holding back from speaking your truth, put your hand on your heart, and start your sentence with “If you really knew me, you’d know…” 10Kill Yourself We’ve gotta be willing to let go of who we are in order to become what we’re capable of becoming. That means: doing things we don’t normally do… experimenting with responding to situations differently… being open-minded and being willing to be wrong. Tony Robbins once said, “The only thing stopping you from getting what you want is your story about why you can’t have it.” We’ve gotta kill the part of ourselves which isn’t serving us anymore. Share this Wisdom + Love!