o recover from rejection, here’s a three-step plan… 1. Assume it’s them. When people end romantic relationships, they sometimes say, “It’s not you, it’s me.” This may be a cliché—but it’s also an important distinction. When you feel rejected, go ahead and tell yourself that it really is the person doing the rejecting who has mishandled the situation, not you. That won’t eliminate the sting of the rejection, but it should reduce the odds that you will fall into a downward spiral of self-criticism. 2. Focus on aspects of yourself that you deeply value. Take some time to think about this, and pay special attention to talents and attributes related to the aspect of your life where the rejection occurred—your key professional skills if the rejection was career-related, for example. Once you’ve identified several characteristics, choose one and write a brief essay on why it’s important to you. We are more convinced by things we write than by things we think, because writing activates additional parts of the brain. 3. Spend time around people who understand your worth. Being around people who value us can effectively counter the sting of rejection.