five simple tips about asking assertively be clear about what you want before you ask for it avoid apologizing (eg saying "sorry to ask") be confident - don't use tentative phrases like "Could you possibly...?" keep it short, simple & to the point sound positive & expect to get "Yes" for an answer Five simple things to avoid when you want to say "No" Making excuses, such as "I'm meeting friends" when you're not - you may get found out Saying "I don't mind" when you do mind - & giving a confusing message Saying "Yes" because you feel bad saying "No", then sabotaging & not doing what you agreed to Saying "Yes" when you mean "No", then stressing all week about how to get out of it Saying "No" at first, then retracting & saying "Yes", because you feel guilty Assertiveness skills help you say "No" confidently, politely, respectfully and effectively