I will use is someone who wishes he could be a professional musician, but you can apply these principles to just about anything. 1. Self-Skepticism – Since we all believe that we’re always right, and since we know that we’re all sometimes wrong, let’s go ahead and err on the side of being wrong and question everything we believe. Go ahead and assume that everything you know and think is likely wrong or incomplete. This will require a great deal of humility and uncertainty, which is not easy for many to stomach, but it’s necessary. A man who believes he knows everything is a man who learns nothing. What’s more important: being right, or changing your life? Our friend who wants to become a professional musician has the following beliefs: that he does not have enough time to practice to play in a band regularly; that he needs to buy some high-quality gear if he’s ever going to attract good people to play with; that he hasn’t written a song in nearly a decade and fears he’s forgotten how; that he’s not a talented singer and can’t be very good at it. Once he stops and considers (or perhaps assumes) that all of these beliefs are incorrect — that he does have enough time to practice and play in a band, that he’s just not making the time; that he doesn’t need high quality gear right now, he can always buy it later; that if he could do it before he can do it again; that anyone can sing, it simply takes practice — it now not only removes his excuses for failure, but presents him routes to accomplish his goal. 2. Collect Evidence to the Contrary – The second step is to counter-act our subjective validation bias, and instead of recognizing what supports our belief, to consciously look for what goes against our limiting belief. This is particularly easy if you have beliefs about large populations of people — i.e., women never date a guy shorter than them — if you start looking, you’ll find plenty of couples where the guy is shorter. Sure, it’s a minority, but there are millions of men in the world dating women taller than them (I know probably half a dozen myself). Start looking for them. Chances are they’re out there, you were just choosing not to notice them before. For our musician friend, it’s time for him to start paying attention to evidence that contradicts his beliefs. Perhaps meeting and recognizing gigging musicians who have a day job or who don’t have great equipment, or realizing that a lot of history’s great songwriters didn’t begin composing until their mid-20′s or even early-30′s. 3. Plan on Being the Exception – If you’ve done step two well enough, it will be undeniable to you that there are at least exceptions to your limiting belief. It may not be normal, but women will date a shorter guy. It may not be typical but white women will date minority men. It may not be expected, but a guy with no high school education can get a job at a financial firm. The next step is to plan on being the exception. Ask yourself what this would take? In the cases of height and race with women in the above situation, it probably simply means approaching more women than the next guy and not letting yourself get discouraged. That’s not too hard. For our musician friend, it would be challenging himself to join a gigging band without the extra time and gear he believes he needs first. 4. Take Full Responsibility for Failures – The most important step to not falling back into your past belief patterns is to take full responsibility for your results. If women who are taller than you or of a different race reject you, don’t blame it on your height or your race, blame it on things you have control of: your style, your ability to connect with them, your nervousness when meeting them. If our musician friend auditions for a few bands and it doesn’t work out, he should not blame his lack of equipment or his lack of talent, but focus on what he can do better — learn the songs better beforehand, try to relate to the band-members better, display his passion and excitement more, and yes, practice more.