Tried to give you warning but everyone ignores me Told you everything loud and clear But nobody’s listening Called to you so clearly but you don’t want to hear me Told you everything loud and clear But nobody’s listening ’d bet any amount of money that you’ve never said to a boy, “If you have a big problem and admit you’re really upset and worried, I’ll be ashamed of you and you’ll grow up to be a poor excuse for a man.” But somehow most boys have this message to some degree wired into their brains by the time they reach older childhood. Where does this message come from? It’s not like someone has been beaming things into their brains all day since they were little kids about when it’s okay for a guy to ask for help. Except that’s exactly what’s going on. Think back to when your son was five or six and what toys he was given and what he liked to play with. I’m not about to launch into an argument about trying to get boys to play with dolls instead of trucks, and this isn’t about what color clothes you put him in as a toddler. Just go with me here. Did he get or play with toys that looked like this? [Batman] actually, Alfred teachers boys that the people closest to them should pay attention to their behavior and moods well enough to know when something may be bothering them and have enough concern for them to ask them if something is wrong and offer help. You know, what people do for girls. The sad part is that most parents and people do not pay enough attention to boys to be able to read those subtle changes in their mood, and as a result never bother to ask, which Wiseman admits early in the excerpt. They instead assume that if a boy has a problem he will bring it to them, which Wiseman suddenly appears to also assume The author claims that as a society we do not give boys the language to express themselves, which to many boys may come across as telling them they do not understand the basic tenants of the language they speak We owe it to boys to do better. We owe it to the girls who are growing up with these boys to do better. Because even if you don’t have boys, you don’t want girls having to put up with insecure, intellectually stunted, emotionally disengaged, immature guys. Worse is when some boys’ insecurity combines with arrogance and privilege. Then we’re dealing with guys who believe that the right to amuse themselves by degrading girls is more important than behaving with common decency—or they don’t even realize how stupid they’ll look when they get caught.