boyz

We are raising our boys to become better than their macho-male predecessors, a noble endeavor indeed. We teach them to be sensitive, that crying in public is nothing to be ashamed of, that they don’t need to “suck it up,” that the weight of the world is not riding on their shoulders, and no matter what others might say, they are special and should be respected for being special. We just keep forgetting to tell them that everyone else thinks they are special too. We encourage them to follow their fantasies and dreams, but no one taught them about how hard you have to fight, the price you have to pay, and the struggles you have to endure for following your dreams. We teach them to voice their opinions, but forget to teach them that words and actions have consequences. We teach boys that it’s ok to sometimes be weak, but forgot to teach them how to be strong the rest of the time. We tell them that having doubts is understandable, but forgot to teach them how to be self-confident. We are failing at preparing them for the realities of a harsh world that cares little of how sensitive they are. Boys learn that it’s ok for an athlete to cry for losing because he is in touch with his feelings, when instead he should learn to congratulate and recognize the skill and effort of the other player who won. They will confuse arrogance for confidence, turning abuse as a tool for empowerment and as a mask for insecurities. They will be overwhelmed with self-doubt every time they have to deal with rejection and are told by society that mistakes are used as marketing opportunities instead of being a tool for learning. They will view any opinion different than theirs as a personal attack, and take everything to heart as an offense. And they will react accordingly, just look at how trolling and flame wars rage online. “Are we actually applauding a double standard that makes for strong women and weak men?” Somewhere in the evolution of manhood by the last couple of generations, sensitivity and sensibility were taken out of the equation of being a man, as if artistry and creativity was exclusively a female trait. Before this happened, it was expected for a man to learn about art and culture as well as the arts of war. Warrior classes of the olden days would taught music, art, and literature as part of their development. Trade crafts were viewed as artistic endeavors and wooing a lady was a demonstration of the sensibility the man possessed. Take a moment and think of most art, literature, and music produced in the last century. Most were produced by men, although this was because women weren’t even allowed to participate openly till recently. Then, some culturally stunted individual thought it was a good idea to “feminize” culture, and men should be little more than grunts and providers. Thank you, “Latter Half of the Twentieth Century”.